(This is a compilation of church bulletin bloopers I have come across.)
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
- The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
- Evening Massage - 6 p.m.
- The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
- Low Self-esteem Support Group will meet Thursday from 7 to 8 PM. Please use back door.
- Ushers will eat latecomers.
- For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
- Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
- The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
- The concert held in the Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister’s daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which, as usual, fell upon her.
- An announcement concerning the pastor’s illness: GOD IS GOOD. Pastor Hargreaves is better.
- Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.
- Don’t let worry kill you off - let the church help.
- The Rector is on vacation. Massages can be given to the church secretary.
- Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
- The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir
- Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
- Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It is a good chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
- The peace-making meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
- Next Thursday, there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
- The agenda was adopted…the minutes were approved…the financial secretary gave a grief report.
- Barbara C. remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack’s sermons.
- The “Over 60’s Choir” will be disbanded for the summer with the thanks of the entire church.
- A missionary from Africa, Bertha Belch, was to speak at Calvary Memorial Church. The announcement read: “Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.”
- Miss Charlene Mason sang, “I Will Not Pass This Way Again,” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
- Announcement for a National Prayer and Fasting Conference: “The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals.”
- The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the Water” The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus”
